Ready To Get Married??

Well we know that the day we get married we sign up for the biggest mistake of our life...
Seriously...
For now it's all pink and fun...
Sex every day...
No arguments...
In a couple of years this will be:
Arguments every day...
No sex...
But on the day itself it can be quite fun...
Like this best man fucking up the whole ceremony...



I think that this would be the best time for the groom to get the fuck out of there...



Maybe Aunt Jane had a few too many the night before and get very unstable at church...



And if it is not Aunt Jane then it's the best man...



So let's enjoy these moments since it is not our big day but their fucked up day...

These Guys Won't Have Kids...

This PE teacher is a complete moron...
All muscles and no brain...
Deserves what he got...


I have to say that those two kids are pretty good at it...
Wonder if their parents surf the net though...


We have the distance...
We have the height...
We have the strength...
OUCH!!


I have to say...
That is THE BEST prank I've ever seen...
Can't wait to try it...


The trick when you build and want to launch a bottle rocket is to be patient...
Those little fuses are very temple mental...


Playgrounds are for kids...
Just for kids...
Or idiots...

Let's Play DodgeBall...

Well...
Actually those guys aren't the best at dodging...
Let see...
I'm big...
I'm Strong...
And I'm a fucking moron...


You know that the States have a national soccer teams?
No kidding...
They are called the Eagles...
They suck...
And that is why...


Exercise balls are meant to be exercise items...
Exercise woman!!
Fucking exercise!!


Sport is good...
Basketball is very good...
But if you suck at it someone needs to tell you that you do...
Whatever it takes...


When you got friends like these you don't really need any enemies...


Listening to the races...
Setting up the table on a beautiful Sunday...
And then...

Let's Talk About Morons....

So...
They are everywhere...
The truth is out there...
Yes...
The morons are upon us...
Let see how two burglars are defeated by a stool and a broom...
How bullet proof glass is also moron proof...
And... The explanation behind the expression:
"As thick as a brick"...


I don't know why but it seems that morons always try to do what they cannot do...
Note also that exercise is good to lose those extra few pounds but if there is too much of these well...
Forget about it...


This guy is the perfect moron...
You know why?
Because at the end the guy admits that it was a bad idea...


Well, what could happen if you give a moron a long log of wood?
Would he light fire?
Would he cut it for fire wood?
Tss Tss...
Do not forget...
He's a moron...


Okay, let me explain something...
The order of the lights on the traffic lights in the UK is the following (Starting with stopping):

1. Red (Don't fucking move).
2. Red-Orange (Get that gas pedal roaring).
3. Green (Kill that old lady who's too slow on the zebra).
4. Orange (Better get ready to stop, the warden is around the freaking corner).

Well, this is coming from "Who Want's To Be A Millionaire" in the UK...

I Fail, You Fail, He Fail... They Suck!!

Here are a bunch of massive failures and ownages...
#1:


#2:


#3:


#4:


#5:

Top 5 Of The Best Pranks Ever...

Number 5:


Number 4:


Number 3:


Number 2:


Number 1:

Looking For A Cheap Car? These Should be on the Market Very Soon...

I think this lethal piece of road is coming from the Czech Republic...
Maybe they should re-think the way they design roads over there...


This dude is so happy to have won the race...
Did he??


I don't know what this cop said to the driver but apparently the driver wasn't too impressed...


I don't know where that come from...
At first I was asking myself why the fuck this guy would carry the bride in his arms on the main road...
But then I understood...


Remember that episode of the Simpsons where they have to go to NY to pick up Homer's car that is clamped at the WTC towers? Then he end up driving the car with the clamp still on it? I bet you thought "That ain't possible!!".
Guess what...
Think again...
And yes, before you ask, that is a woman behind the wheel...


Anyway, look within that lot, I'm sure there is a cheap car for you in there...

Alcohol And People... Bad Mix?

Okay, today is my B'day...
Usually people on their B'day have a few drinks...
Why not.
But some shouldn't...
Why?
Because they ain't compatible with booze...
They get:

• Sloshed
• Rat arsed
• Bollocksed
• Pissed
• Sauced

In one word:

DRUNK!!

So...
Let's study the typical drunken skunk...
At first you might be a bit confused...
Pieces of clothing kind of look all the same...
This, for example could happen on a beach...
A few beers...
Too much sun and...


The thing is that most people when drunk don't really realize what the fuck they are doing...
And, sadly enough, a large majority of them will do DUI.
That is sad and dangerous.
Like this guy...
I bet he didn't think that he could get that arsed...


That one is quite amazing...
The guy is gentle enough to prove that he is totally out of it without having the cop doing any test...
How nice...


No DUI for this guy though...
Ain't riding...
Maybe he should...
That way would fall and sleep...
Needs it...


As seen previously it seems that bicycles and drunk people aren't really compatible...
What about one bicycle and two drunk dudes?


So...
Try not to over do it guys...
Really...
Look at these:

The Sunday Dose Of Mentally Challenged...

Okay, It is Sunday and we all need a laugh.
So what's better than laughing at others misery?
Uh?
Like for this one, I think that the girl in the uni restaurant is staged but for the rest of them...


Weight lifting... Those are the guys...
Strong...
Manly...
Fit...
And fucking good for nothing pieces of shite!!


Home sweet home...
Sometimes home isn't the safest place you always thought it was...


Well, I do like Johnny Cash... Don't you?
One of my favourite song is called "Hurt"...


Here are a few people that would make general Slimfast very proud...

Happy B'Day To Me!!!!

Yep...
Next Monday I add one more...
16Th of February...
I know...
Aquarius...
We're the best...
You guys suck!
Anyway here are a few B'day bloopers that you might like:
B'day #1:


B'day #2:


B'day #3:


B'day #4:

Eh? One Of My Favorite... Billy Connolly!!

Okay, if you are from the States you will certainly have a bit of troubles understanding this guy... Just play the vids again and again... After a while it will sink in your fat skull.
Billy Connolly is from Scotland...
Did you know they have double deckers in Scotland?


Remember Bush's takes on suicide bombing? Well I prefer that one...


Have you ever spotted that the people of Ireland and Scotland swears a lot. But when I say a lot I mean a freaking fucking mother fucker lot!!!


Even the weirdest diseases have a funny side come to think of it...


And sometimes, the way to diagnose these diseases are quite funny too...

And What About Rowan Atkinson...

Rowan Atkinson is well known as Mr Bean, but is also a well known stand up comedian...
Here is Rowan talking about our old pal Jesus...



What would be Jesus without the help of Satan...


Religion is one thing... Properly dating is more on earth thing... You're good at it or you suck...


Would it be great to be invisible?? Would it?


As said earlier Rowan is well known as Mr Bean... For those who don't know who he is, here is a small example of what this guy is able to do...

Things To Know About Jack Black...

Do not bring him to the sea side...


He's a bit like me... Can't stand the fucking Lord of the rings...


He does appreciate American history...


Do not enter a record shop with him...


And finally... he does have a really short temper...

Bushism At Its Best...

I know that Obama is in but I will miss Bush...
No...
Seriously!!
Not because of his remarkable diplomatic capacities but simply because the guy was the only clown that could actually make me laugh...
Like these ones...
Was he actually reading the speech?
If yes, should have sacked the writer...


APEC? OPEC? Australia? Austria?


Interresting fact about Bush is that the dude has two left hands... Sadly enough the guy is right handed!!


If you ask yourself "Was Georgie boring?", well according to this little footage the answer is a massive yes...


But fear nor my little friends... We might be on for four years of laughter...

My Oh My... Army Or Not Army...

Every kids wants to be a soldier (aka Rambo or some shit like that), well kids take a look at these and you might change your mind...
Using an RPG can be a little more trickier than you might think...


Army is the best place to define your limits... Do you know where you limits are? Me nope...


Army is where everything is calculated to the last details... Nothing can go wrong. Everything has to be perfect!!


Army is where people have a head over their shoulders!!


But in the end... Army is just a place where all the tax payers money is wasted!!